Love is priceless, but can it still become a commodity? Often, unloved children have a lot of money, but not enough to buy it. Maybe it can't be bought? We have become entangled in a spider's web of searching for love, not knowing how to replace it and with what. We have begun to fear our hildren. First, we fear our inner child, so we don't wake it up. It's better for it to sleep because if we wake it up, we are afraid of what we might discover about ourselves. Then, with the apparent appearance of a complete person, we continue our sleepwalking life in a half-sleep. We try to cover up the pain and build our brilliant career, individuality, existence, and in fact, the highest, creating a "reputation". All this until we see how much we have grown. Egoism grows, prestige is fed, titles are awarded, but the child is still sleeping. Then we continue to try to meet all expectations, and we continue to build our tower in the form of a labyrinth, on the road to happiness. A new task is imposed on that old child, we need to create a family. Society is waiting. Fear of the new child is coming. How can we raise a new child and make it healthy, while the other one is still sick? It is good that no one knows about that. Let us decide not to wake up the old child because through the new one, we will solve everything. Unexpressed emotions, lack of love, helplessness, unspoken needs, suppressed feelings of insufficient value, unfulfilled dreams. Everything that hurt us, the new child can alleviate with enough bandages, by covering the wounds. However, coming into the world, the new child soon realizes that the bandage cannot alleviate the pain and the wound will not heal, and then, so small and not knowing much about the world, accepts the pain as love. It begins to hurt even more and asks for help, but since it does not receive it, it still believes that it is love, so it spreads it.
The new child is convinced that it is doing good to the old one by fulfilling all those desires that the old one failed to accomplish. It wants to make it proud. So continues to deserve love through imposed values and other people's expectations. The old child continues to strengthen its superficial armor of a cold-blooded warrior. A higher salary, then new recognition, and the feeling of inferiority will disappear because its "reputation" is growing. The old child often thinks: "When another car is bought, I will prove to the child that I am worth it and so it will grow its value with me." However, in moments of weakness, the feeling of rejection appears again, and a new thought begins as a tool for fighting emotions. "Now I will master another skill in order to prove to people the greatness of my being and the child will see what the power of influence means. I can even put them in a dependent position for a little while, my established status allows it." Thoughts build on each other like bricks of a house with a ruined foundation. Then feelings appear in the new child. A feeling of jealousy begins to awaken, and vanity embraces it. "No one can have more and be better than me," the new child often thinks, not knowing that the old one always compared itself to the children of its relatives and was not hugged at those moments. A cry for love begins, but never felt love does not know what it looks like, and then it continues to follow the pain, the familiar pattern. The new child begins to follow safe patterns and to receive rewards and recognition while the old one buys more things, showing gratitude to the new child.
One Wednesday, a new child was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, watching the family across the chair from where it was sitting. At that moment, a friend from school rushed to hug its mother. Seeing this, it wanted to ask his parent for the same, but then the old child woke up and the parent didn't know how to give it. It didn't feel natural, it felt strange. Except when that picture wasn't in front of an audience of recognition and admiration, then that was okay. Soon afterwards, parent felt a secure sense of comfort. Praise is necessary, it becomes more pleasant when it knows that because of it, its ego will grow even more. A peace appears in the body when the new child has the same or more than the child sitting on the other side.The attention is there, I guess it's the same as love, the new child often thinks. Everyone is waiting the same in that waiting room, only the children have different emotions.
The new child continues to grow with the same bandage, only with new plasters that seem disinfected on the surface. The wound is getting deeper and the pain is getting quieter because sobbing is only allowed within four walls.
Our children are growing up in this kind of society today, and it is up to us to either allow the wounds to deepen or to react and get to know our inner pain, so that the injuries can heal and new generations can be healthy.
There must be no margin for buying love. Let us first learn what it is so that we can be able to give it first to ourselves, then to our children, and thus to the entire society.
Comments