She was only fifteen when she woke up one morning wanting to become someone else.
Everything about her was imperfect, unmolded and disproportionate. It did not follow the standards. Standards of imposed environmental lifestyle. She would often stand in front of the mirror and look for virtues, but she could not see them. The only thing she saw were flaws. Simply nothing was good enough. She would walk down the street and wish for the body of the another girl, the intelligence of someone else, the material status of the third person, and so on and on.
She grew up in a mediocre working-class family with parents who did not see potential in themselves, so why would they see it in her either. As a teenager, she had a boyfriend who helped her destroy the little self-confidence she possessed, constantly pointing out her flaws. Her friends were woven of the same forge, formed by fears and insecurities. Together they aspired to the same goal, to be someone else. It is always safer to be a clone than to get to know yourself.
Deeply unhappy, she wanted to fulfill her long-held dream and become someone else. She worked diligently striving for her goal. She began to follow. To follow the girls who created their beauty thanks to successful surgical procedures. To go out to places where corporate agreements of intimate relationships are made. To emulate people who have perfect lives on social media. Constantly aspiring to that lifestyle, and not really knowing what kind of lives they truly have, she followed. She finally managed to accomplish everything. Perfect appearance, corporate marriage, expensive clothes, luxury travel, prestige and friends who go with it. Her life seemed like a fairy tale. Many wanted to be just like her, so they started following her.
Then one morning she woke up, and started sobbing loudly, she sobbed so much that even the neighbors could hear her screams. She couldn't stop. It hurt a lot, but she didn't know what and why. She was stunned by the torrent of tears that flowed from her eyes like a waterfall that was dried up for a long time.
She had a dream in which an angel appeared to her and said that she had missed her chance in life. In dream she discovered the given a talent that would enable her to become a world-famous ballerina. It did not give such a talent to anyone but her and, she neglected it.
Then he revealed to her the delusions with which she lived.
The boyfriend she was in a relationship with as a teenager hid his insecurities by undermining her self-confidence and striving to shape and mold her personality into his life.
Her parents were actually driven by fear and that is why they distracted her from her goals.
Friends were just a reflection of her and nothing more.
Remembering the dream, she continued to sob. At that moment, her husband came, looked at her and soon left the room, not paying attention to her tears. For him, it was not too important, and why would it be, when that marriage was not based on emotions anyway. Then came the children who looked at her confused but, not knowing how to react, soon turned their backs. They were not taught empathy.
She was fifty then, and finally understood. At that moment realized that she was not happy even though she did everything that was asked of her. She met all the imposed standards for a happy life and followed. By following others, she forgot about herself.
Now has no choice but to replace her unacomplished ballet career with an acting career and continue to follow.
Be careful who you look up to, so that you don't forget who you are at one point.
Let the professional actors do their job as best they can, and you don't follow, just be.
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