Peter thought he knew everything, until one day he woke up and realized he knew nothing.
That was a painful cognition. He was already 55 years old. Some consider it an ideal mature age, but he felt as if he had to be reborn and start over. Childbirth hurts, so we also have to go through a certain amount of pain, in order to change all those things that didn't serve us. One anxious morning when his son was diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration, his first thought was: “How could this happen to me. This is not my world, I didn't deserve it.” From that moment the world becomes something else. It becomes the world we have seen in the movies. Everything that happens to others often appears as unrealistic scenario of our life.
It was very difficult for him to accept the fact that his son's brain could never recover, not knowing that it is more difficult to recover one that was created under other people's influences, beliefs, patterns, and that developed in an environment where parameters of values were imposed.
Carrying with him those beliefs and all possible recognitions, diplomas, taught to achieve them, in order to be valued by society, he continued to achieve success, competed with the living, competed with the dead, he was reaching to the points where the goal should not exist. He made his own destinations and pressure points and never actually managed to catch up with himself because he learned everything, but he didn't learn how to think. He served to his mind, but the mind not to him, and in that way he did not live, but enslaved.
It all started when the power was celebrating with prestige without caring about friends, wife and child, for whom he had the least time. Petar was the best at pleasing himself and on that path, intoxicated with the goal, he often did not choose the means. He looked down on all the people he had around him, cheated on his wife, betrayed his friends, treated his colleagues badly, and boldly fed his ego with vanity, greed and low excitation.
In order to fully support his son at that moment, he had to leave his current job. His wife had passed away a few months before, so he was alone. There was Andrea, the girlfriend at the time, but Andrea didn't want that commitment, so she packed her bags and left. Peter had his big house that was empty, not really completely, it was filled with bitterness and suffering.
The moment when his wife passed away led to a reduced level of greedy acts, but not a complete disappearance. After that, his son's illness followed, and now, it seemed, what he loved most, prestige at work.
Everything was gone except the anger and resentment that beckoned the rage that was busy savoring the loss of power. Anger was in no hurry. There was no place for arrogance anymore, anger finally arrived, but not wanting to be alone, he brought tears. Petar was surprised because he still had them. He doesn't remember the last time he cried. It seemed like the first time, like a new birth.
He was left with only his son, who at that moment, with his physical brain damage, was able to reason better than his father. The father lost his identity and the son still had a little time to help him find it again while he still has motor functions. Vanity and resentment are still there, as eternal companions of a wasted life. Petar was no longer sure whether he was a support to his son or his son to him. He only knew that he had been given one last chance, to be born again.
Everything that you do to others, you have already done to yourself.
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