It is oftentimes said, that unfulfilled potential hurts. It is that potential that wakes you up during the night, the one that often does not allow you to fall asleep. It pursues you tirelessly, follows you and directs you. Then when you feel the urge to do something, it is the potential that leads you.
If a title could fill the soul, it would be easy to make it happy. Maybe the ego often deceives us, but the soul does not.
They were two friends from early childhood. They have been friends since the age of seven. Growing up, they were united by the common thread of childlike sincerity, cheerfulness, happiness and joy. That smell of warmth when they meet and doesn't last when they are apart, until the moment they meet again.
They fantasized together. They had many wishes, shared their hopes and wrote down their goals, until the moment when the list became too long for one and for the other it was reduced to only one wish, which is to write. Pen and paper were his source of happiness.
In contrast, the future lawyer wanted to be part of the high, chosen, circles of people, surrounded by influential names, invited to expensive dinners. He aspired to a high position of social norms, which would lead him to the highest ladder of success.
One day they were sitting in the park, on their favourite bench and talking.
"Nicola, how do you see yourself, what are your wishes and expectations?" asked the future lawyer.
"I see myself as a happy and fulfilled person, doing what I love," replied the writer.
"And what is that?"
"For now it's writing, that's when I'm happiest."
"That is not work, it's a game, you don't solve anyone's problems there. There's no money, and where there's no money, there's no happiness."
"Maybe there is happiness for me and not for others. What are your parameters of happiness Robert?" the writer continued.
"Well, you know, expensive and prestigious," replied the future lawyer proudly.
"I realized a long time ago that people prefer to create problems than to solve them. I like to soften them, like a bandage on a wound. I'm not sure that I can really solve them, but I know that I can caress with words.
That s the reason why I decided to write. Medicine heals the body, and artists heal the soul.
We have neglected the soul, and it is the last to leave the body and is immortal."
"I think you'll regret it if you don't get serious and start doing something more serious, Nicola," continued the future lawyer haughtily.
"What is more serious work for you Robert?"
"Litigation, lawsuits, property distribution, inheritance..."
"You see I'm actually a business threat to you."
"Don't be funny, what do you mean?"
"Well, yes, if someone were to read all my manuscripts, and thereby manage to change the perception and had treated life's circumstances differently, then probably those conflicts arising from anger, egocentrism, greed, vanity, contempt, jealousy would not have occurred... I try to suppress all that, with love, so that I probably reduce your profit sorry..."
"Um, don't worry, you're not a threat to me."
After ten years, they found themselves again in their favourite place, writer and lawyer. The bench was waiting for them.
"Hi Robert, how are you?"
"Well, I should be fine... I've accomplished everything that was asked of me. I've met the criteria for a happy life."
"That still doesn't answer my question."
"I know…I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. I think that for most of my life, I've been giving myself the wrong answers to questions that weren't mine. That's why I'm resonating with your question for the first time, but unfortunately I don't know the answer.
I would say that nothing fulfills me anymore. My marriage fall apart, the child has gone astray, my job has not given me any satisfaction for years, which is why I wonder if I ever loved it. I indulged in alcohol. The only thing that didn't abandone me, I trust it, it's easier with it..."
"Are you still working as a lawyer?"
"My office was shut down, it's under bankruptcy, so I'm not sure who I am anymore.
I don't know who I am, but I hope it's not too late to at least find out, I owe myself so much..."
Don't get attached to titles, so that you know who you are when one day, they take it away from you.
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