I have often wondered what would happen if two people met in the same place, without labels that would mark social status, and everything that indicates a person's identity. What would happen if they started a conversation just like that, and there was nothing involved between, besides things they're striving for? What kind of relationship would it actually be and what would attract us to it? Identity without nationality. Clothes without brands. A language that is understood. Are such attractions possible? Is it possible to observe without evaluation?
Presenting yourself as the best version, as in a job interview, tends towards evaluation, liking, recognition, admiration. Male-female dating is often reduced to a job interview. We present ourselves as version which we do not even know. We assume that the other person would like us, like that, when in fact we don't even like that version of ourselves. Are we showing or proving, and what are we afraid of?
The biggest reason why we don't do many things is fear, but not ordinary. Fear of rejection or fear of failure. We want to present ourselves better than at a job interview, because that sphere is oftentimes more important to us, than business. If we start from rejection, we struggle with our personal understanding of development and question our love for ourselves. You'd be surprised how little we love ourselves. Is someone preventing us from doing that, or we're just not taught when we were children?
Worrying whether we will be liked enough by the other person, just the way we are, and what will happen if it realizes our flaws. We all have flaws, but they are beautiful because they enhance diversity.
A person who loves your flaws, accepts them and helps you transform them into virtues only if you want it too, is someone who should stay in your life. People who focus on your flaws and use them as a weapon to heal their own insecurities are manipulators, and they present an alarm for the "escape" button. On the other hand, we oftentimes create a project from a person, when we idealize it. All those smaller projects boil down to wishes and wishes to expectations. Then when expectations are not met, disappointment sets in. Don't project, but look with your eyes wide open, so that you could see what you often don't. It can be more beautiful than what you have imagined because you were guided by old ideologies.
Life is a journey and self-discovery, which is why we should enjoy it. Perfect is boring, if you ask me.
So embrace your imperfections and beautify the world with your uniqueness, because we have too many copy-paste people. We lack the originals.
Comments